I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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