I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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