Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
