its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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