All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
