you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
