I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
