he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
