with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have demons in me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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