I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
