Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
