It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
