she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
