This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
