you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
