I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
