i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
