I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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