Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
