Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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