bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
