I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
