Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
