she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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