Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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