there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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