I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it's like iHOP with fire
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
