There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
