You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
