Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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