My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
this is an emotional support booty call
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
