I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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