I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
