I heard we made out
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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