in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
