i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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