Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize