so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
