Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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