i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize