that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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