Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
