you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
