I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
