butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
