I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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