Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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