In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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