how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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