i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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