If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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