i think i have two assholes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
