You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
