I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
