walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
