i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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