When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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