he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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