It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
